Getting Creative.

If you know me, you know I'm not the most artistically talented person on the planet. I'm also insanely jealous of the people who are. I would give anything to sit down and be able to do a craft on pinterest neatly or draw. But the one thing I would give anything to be able to do is paint. I'm not sure if it's the medium that I think would be relaxing or the feeling of freedom of just creating.

Around October of last year, I had all of these feelings but I couldn't find a way to express them. I tried to journal like I usually did when I was upset but I just couldn't put it into words. So that nixed really talking about it to other people as well. One day, I was just sitting around and got a huge urge to paint. I just had a feeling that if I painted, I would be able to express myself.

But then the negative self talk happened. "You can't do that." "You've never been good at art, why do you think this would help you now?" "You'll try then you will feel stupid afterwards." It went on and on. So I didn't paint for a couple of weeks. I was embarrassed I even wanted to try. Then I got up the nerve to talk to my counselor about it and she really encouraged me to try. So I bought some paint and a notepad and tried.

The result? Well, I'm no Monet and my artwork will not make a debut anytime soon but I felt better. I expressed myself in a way that helped to heal my broken heart. And not only that, I did something for me not worrying about what anyone else thought about it. As I continued to paint, I continued to heal. I started to accept myself and started to trust my gut and know what's best for me. It helped me to love me for me bad painting skills and all.

During that time, my right brain wasn't cutting it for me. I had to find a way to express myself before all my emotions just ate me up. So I listened to my gut and tried something out of the ordinary. I will probably keep that notepad of mediocre paintings forever because it began my healing process and my journey of discovering myself and who I wanted to be and for that I will always be grateful.

What have you been wanting to try lately but have been holding yourself back from? What has your gut been telling you lately? It might be time to listen.