Let me tell you though, I was overwhelmed. And not very much fun to be around. And that happened for a lot of reasons. Number one is that I tend to be a perfectionist and want to be good at something automatically and beat myself up if I'm not. I was also tired since my work hours are different than I've ever worked. Most of all, it was change. And a lot of times, it is hard to adjust to any type of change.
My parents & roomie heard a lot of my complaining. "I don't like not being good at it yet." "I'm so tired." "I don't know why I'm in a bad mood, I just am OK?" "I'm just so stressed."
Finally my mom had to bust out the tough love. "I think you expect to be rich without working hard." That first convo didn't go over so well. I'm going to go ahead and blame the fact I was drink de-caffeinated coffee without knowing it for two days. (Just a teensy bit irritable.) Y'all can thank Emily for pointing that one out for me.
The second convo went over better and it was just a simple text from my mom. "I've come to find that if you expect you will have a bad day, you usually do." Dang it. She's right again. When am I going to learn that my mother is pretty much right about everything?
Instead of dwelling how I'm not good at it yet, I can choose to instead think what a huge learning experience it is. I can think about how I am luckily to have jobs and am able to pay my bills. I can remind myself that I just have to be better at scheduling my time with friends and self care time. And lastly, I can think about how I will adjust to the change and it is a season of my life that is not only necessary but useful for my growth as a counselor.
So here's to a new attitude. And embracing this time in my life. And last but not least, here's to caffeinated coffee.
