Perspective

So I don't like Mondays. Aside from the obvious reasons, I also spend the day at home working and getting ready for the week.  I feel like I'm the only one at home. (which I know isn't true) And although I'm working, I feel super antsy being in the house. Probably because I have so many other distractions. (Chrissy, coffee, etc)

And today is no different. I was sitting at my computer attempting to get some work done but I found myself completely unable to sit still. I finally decided to take a break and read a book for a while. I went outside and sighed because my backyard isn't super pretty yet. Eventually I plan to make it pretty but right now all I have is a big storage shed and a nice view of my neighborhood's backyard. I began to read then decided to lay down on the bench we have in the backyard.

The view from this direction was incredible. At least to me. I immediately put my book down. I realized that I was under the shade of a massive old tree. There was a soft breeze, just enough to make the leaves rustle. A butterfly fluttered by the branches. And I suddenly felt very small. I also felt like time had stopped and it helped me to finally sit still. And to be appreciative of my surroundings. I was all of a sudden incredibly grateful not to be stuck in a office but to be there in that exact moment taking a deep breath and appreciating the beauty of God's creation in my own (not pretty yet) backyard. It helped me gain some perspective. Not just in the literal sense but also in the metaphorical sense. It's a constant battle for me to slow down but I'm glad that I was able to take a break today, breathe deeply, and be grateful to be exactly where I am.

I find it incredibly helpful to gain different perspectives. I encourage you to try it too. It may just reaffirm your position or it may completely change your position. Either way seems helpful to me. Whether it is literally laying down and looking up instead of down or looking at your problem from a different angle, a new change of scenery could be refreshing.

My view laying down in my backyard

Make Believe

It's been a while since I've shared some of my favorite quotes that I've found recently. Quotes always make me smile. Hopefully these will make you smile too.

The first one I'm going to share is from the book "The Paris Wife" and I'm only three chapters in but I'm really enjoying it so far. It's about Ernest Hemingway's wife in the 1920s. This is how the second chapter began:

"There's a song from that time by Nora Bayes called 'Make Believe' which might have been the most lilting and persuasive treatise on self-delusion I'd ever heard. Nora Bayes was beautiful, and she sang with a trembling voice that told you she knew things about love. When she advised you to throw off all the old pain and worry and heartache and smile--well, you believed she'd done this herself. It wasn't a suggestion but a prescription...I felt it speaking directly to me: Make believe you are glad when you're sorry. Sunshine will follow the rain... I'd had my share of rain."

The chapter ends with this:
"--but there was a something new, too, a glimmer of potential. It was just possible the sun was on its way. In the meantime, I would hum Nora Bayes and do my damnedest to make believe." 

I can't really articulate exactly why that quote spoke to me so much. But it was one that stirred in my soul. The kind where it sits in your gut and simmers there while you mull it over. The kind where you feel a connection that someone out there gets it and understands. And can put those feelings into words when you can't. And those are my favorite kind.

Here are some more that I love as of late:

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I do. And if life gets busy, I hope you see the glimmer of potential that the sunshine is coming just like The Paris Wife says or, at least make believe.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

So life has been good. Really good. Daily I receive reminders of how grateful I am to have such wonderful people in my life, that I chose the profession I did, and just all around grateful for my life and my story as it unfolds.

But if that's the case, why am I so tired?! I mean, exhausted.

I began to think about this yesterday when I was attempting to do some work from home and my bed was just calling my name. All.day.long. I felt like I could go to sleep at any time. And if you know me, you know I don't nap. I haven't since I announced to my mom when I was about four that I was no longer going to nap. So I when I feel so exhausted that I could nap, I know something is up.

I was talking to my community group about it and I came to the realization that I have been in "go mode". Yes, everything has been going good but everything has also been really busy. I've caught myself recently constantly putting reminders in my calendar so I won't forget even the mundane stuff that wouldn't matter if I forgot. Even when I'm home and "relaxing" my brain is constantly running. Thinking of to-dos, picking out my outfit for tomorrow, checking emails, making sure I didn't forget anything, on and on. And that my friends, is exhausting. Thankfully, I know I have a tendency to swing to anxious side of things and I know how to take care of myself.

It's easy these days to be constantly busy even when we think we are "relaxing" in front of the tv. Put the computer/phone/Ipad down and give your brain a break. Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."