Don't be like the rest of them, darling.

Today I was sitting in my Family Therapy class lamenting the fact it was Monday already and that I had to spend five hours in one class. We were discussing a theory started by a man named Murray Bowen. I had taken a whole class over this theory so I'll admit to the fact that I was day-dreaming and doodling as well as listening. It's graduate-itis I'm telling ya! Anyways, on the powerpoint was this quote by Bowen and I had never read it before and absolutely love it. 

“These are my beliefs and convictions.  This is what I am, and who I am, and what I will do, or not do.  The basic self may be changed from within self on the basis of new knowledge and experience.  The basic self is not negotiable in the relationship system in that it is not changed by coercion or pressure, or to gain approval, or enhance one’s stand with others.” 

From: “The Anonymous Paper ” by Murray Bowen, M.D. 1967 (in Family Therapy in Clinical Practice, Chapter 21)

How great is that? It was such a good reminder for me. It is also something I've tried really hard to work on lately. I feel as though I am at the age where I am figuring out what my beliefs are and what I will stand up for and who I truly am and who I want to be. So I try and live like that. (Key word being "try")

I'm not going to lie though, at times it can be hard to stay true to myself. It can feel like I'm swimming against the current. We live in a world full of new information that can challenge your beliefs and with people who can challenge or pressure you to change (sometimes without even realizing it).  It is so easy for me to slip back into caring too much about what people think about me. I'll post this status so people can see how witty I am, I'll buy those pants so  people can see how fashionable I am, I won't speak up even though I disagree so that I won't upset someone. 

The feelings I get though when I realize that I didn't stay true to myself? Disappointment and guilt. Although in the moment it can be incredibly hard to stay strong and stick up for myself those times that I do I've found that there are people out there who love me for me and will understand. It's also part of me loving myself flaws and all.  And that's a wonderful feeling. 

So I encourage you, go out and discover your beliefs and your convictions. Find out who you truly want to be and stand firm. We don't need to all be exactly like everyone else. We were all created to be unique and I truly believe that is what makes this world such a beautiful place.