Growth.

I used to be shy. I mean really shy.  I'm pretty sure I didn't really talk all of kindergarten. I remember meeting Emily for the first time and all I could think was "Man, that girl talks a lot".  I was shy all through elementary but I was also blessed with a great group of friends that brought me out of my shell. In junior high, I felt like I had to start all over because my elementary school group got split up. I distinctly remember my parents in 7th grade encouraging me to make new friends and write down the names of people I talked to. After junior high, I decided that I wanted to work on my shyness.

It was a slow process. It started with little things like talking to new people in my class. Talking in groups. Trying new organizations. Then in graduate school,  it moved on to bigger things. Letting people get close to me. Letting my guard down. Loving myself. Accepting myself as an introvert but not letting that trait hold me back from things I wanted to do. My first blog post was similar to this. I've learned that it's still a process but my experiences will help me continue to grow.

Friday I made a presentation. It was more like a training. For some people, yea no big deal. Just a presentation. Well this introvert, lost some sleep over it. All I could think about was "How am I going to talk for two hours?" "Will they like my presentation?" "What if they ask too many tough questions?" "What if I'm not experienced enough?" "What if I'm not good enough?"

That's where what I've learned had to kick in. I needed to love myself. I had to remind myself that I was good enough, knew enough, and I could do it.

Guess what? I did it. Without my voice shaking.
It's the little things. But I counted it as a small victory and a step in my journey.