Five Freedoms

Now, I know I post a lot about what I learned from my classes or a quote I like. The thing is though, the program I'm in has not only let me grow academically but personally as well. My classes challenge me to expand my worldview. While I'm learning other people's views on how to help people, I try to see if I agree or disagree. In doing so, it allows me to examine my life and what I need to work on and how I want to work on it.

That being said, I learned about this woman named Virginia Satir and she came up with five freedoms that every human should allow themselves. I thought they were wonderful so I thought I would share them.

The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what should be, was, or will be.

The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you should.

The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you ought.

The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting for permission.

The freedom to take risks in your own behalf, instead of choosing to be only “secure” and not rocking the boat.

Often times, we are so bogged down by what we think we "should" do that we end up not doing what is best for us. Sometimes we let society or other people dictate our actions too much. Society tells us, especially boys, to "man up" and get over it. Plus on top of that if you're a people pleaser like me, we don't do what we really need to do because we are too afraid of how it will affect everyone around us. 

Now does that mean going around with absolutely no regard for anyone's thoughts or feelings? Nope. I think it is important while granting yourself these freedoms to always think about what the outcome of your actions will be. If it is going to do more harm to others than good to ourselves, then we may need to reconsider. 

I think I'm going to take Virginia's advice and grant myself some freedom. Freedom to do what's best for me. To allow myself to be mad, sad, happy, confused and sit with it for a little while. Freedom to take some risks I've been too afraid to try and freedom to be a little more selfish with my thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

It is wonderful to want to help people and put others first before ourselves. But at times, we have to help ourselves and take care of ourselves. We need to allow ourselves the freedom to do so. It's like the oxygen mask metaphor, you have to take care of yourself before helping someone else. It seems selfish but in the end, it can be for the best.