Tomorrow will mark two years from when I lost my brother. Needless to say, I am pretty sad and the rain just fits that mood. It is also funny because my second blog post Rainy Days was written on the one year mark of Tyler's passing and it was raining that day.
I've experienced so much and grown so much over this past year. I've had good times but I've also struggled. But these past few days I was crying at the drop of hat and at first, it surprised me. But I thought about it and no matter how much time has passed, of course I am sad. I've grieved my brother. I've patched up the hole in my heart as best as I can. But, there's still a hole and there always will be. My brother was my best friend, brought my life so much joy and laughter and I am allowed to be achingly sad at losing him entirely too soon. Because I know there will be days when I am joyful at his memory and the time we had together. I will have my happy days where I am absolutely thankful for the life I have been given.
So if you're finding this rainy day fitting to your mood, it's ok. We can have a sad day together. Every emotion is normal. Some are just more fun than others. So allow yourself to be sad and take care of yourself and if you do, know that joy is coming. Of this I am sure.
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