Here's the thing. Life can be tough. It's not going to turn out the way you planned it. And that's beautiful, tragic, awe-inspiring, perplexing chaotic, scary, and joyful all wrapped in one.
It's been said before but our culture is completely wrapped up in the wanting more, having more, doing more. To an extent, that's not a bad thing. But here I am at 25 with two degrees and a pretty good life and I was about to melt down because I couldn't find a job in a month. Well, I lied. I did have a meltdown. I was mad that I couldn't find a job in the area I wanted to. I was worried what other people thought of me. I was tired of explaining what I was doing postgrad. I was sad and hurt that a place didn't think I was a good fit.
Sometimes a meltdown is all you need. It changed my attitude and outlook. I remembered a few things.
Made me remember that it's not in my control. I can work my very hardest and apply but at the end of the day, I will end up where I need to be.
I remembered that my identity is not wrapped up into whether or not I find a job. Period.
I remembered that this is my life,my story. So I need to stop comparing it to others.
I remembered that it was ok to feel all of those things I mentioned above. But I needed to feel it and then let it go.
Finally, I remembered that I'm not guaranteed an easy life. Struggle is part of everyone's story. It's what makes the story interesting. And like my friend Evelynn said, we will look back in this time in our lives and realize some things (like job hunting) are just bumps in the road.
And of course, in typical Courtney-melodramatic fashion, I found a job a week later. It's not the area I was expecting but I'm going to take the leap of faith. I'm excited but scared. Who knows what this new chapter will hold but that's the exciting thing.
So I encourage you, embrace the struggle. Live your own story. You are enough and have enough. Most of all, you're loved no matter what.
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