"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

So life has been good. Really good. Daily I receive reminders of how grateful I am to have such wonderful people in my life, that I chose the profession I did, and just all around grateful for my life and my story as it unfolds.

But if that's the case, why am I so tired?! I mean, exhausted.

I began to think about this yesterday when I was attempting to do some work from home and my bed was just calling my name. All.day.long. I felt like I could go to sleep at any time. And if you know me, you know I don't nap. I haven't since I announced to my mom when I was about four that I was no longer going to nap. So I when I feel so exhausted that I could nap, I know something is up.

I was talking to my community group about it and I came to the realization that I have been in "go mode". Yes, everything has been going good but everything has also been really busy. I've caught myself recently constantly putting reminders in my calendar so I won't forget even the mundane stuff that wouldn't matter if I forgot. Even when I'm home and "relaxing" my brain is constantly running. Thinking of to-dos, picking out my outfit for tomorrow, checking emails, making sure I didn't forget anything, on and on. And that my friends, is exhausting. Thankfully, I know I have a tendency to swing to anxious side of things and I know how to take care of myself.

It's easy these days to be constantly busy even when we think we are "relaxing" in front of the tv. Put the computer/phone/Ipad down and give your brain a break. Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Leap of Faith

So, I moved. It was a completely insane week consisting of signing a lease, packing up, and moving out.

I'm sure for some of you, you are probably thinking-it's about time! And my heart agrees, my head is still a little iffy. Don't get me wrong, it was an amazing price and awesome location but for a girl who is still building up her client base, it was a leap of faith.

And let me tell you, leaps of faith are scary. And I'm still in that free fall part of it where I'm not sure how it'll turn out, but I'm exhilarated and petrified at the same time. But I know I have good people at the bottom that are there for me no matter what.

And sometimes, you just have to do things that make you happy. I know what is good for me and this is a good thing. I've been in a self proclaimed funk and I felt stagnant and stuck. So I jumped. And let me tell you, it feels pretty good to get moving. It's time for an adventure. I promised myself that 25 would be the year to make things happen and be the best one yet. And this is the first step.

So if you are feeling stuck, I encourage you to jump. Take a leap of faith. It feels a whole lot better than not doing anything.

Rainy Days:Part two.

So this may be weird, but I absolutely love it when the weather matches my mood. Today is one of those days. It is a rare rainy July day in Texas. I am very much thankful for the rain and cooler temperatures but it just so happens to fit my mood.

Tomorrow will mark two years from when I lost my brother. Needless to say, I am pretty sad and the rain just fits that mood. It is also funny because my second blog post Rainy Days was written on the one year mark of Tyler's passing and it was raining that day.

I've experienced so much and grown so much over this past year. I've had good times but I've also struggled. But these past few days I was crying at the drop of hat and at first, it surprised me. But I thought about it and no matter how much time has passed, of course I am sad. I've grieved my brother. I've patched up the hole in my heart as best as I can. But, there's still a hole and there always will be. My brother was my best friend, brought my life so much joy and laughter and I am allowed to be achingly sad at losing him entirely too soon. Because I know there will be days when I am joyful at his memory and the time we had together. I will have my happy days where I am absolutely thankful for the life I have been given.

So if you're finding this rainy day fitting to your mood, it's ok. We can have a sad day together. Every emotion is normal. Some are just more fun than others. So allow yourself to be sad and take care of yourself and if you do, know that joy is coming. Of this I am sure.

Through Painted Deserts

So, I read another Donald Miller book. Yep, another. I think I'm running out of books though so this may be my last post about something I read by him.

Through Painted Deserts is Donald Miller's story about how he rediscovered his faith and what was important to him all while on a trip across country. It's pretty interesting and highly recommend it. I think part of the reason I enjoy his writing so much is because he writes about the deep things that we are all thinking but sometimes can't put into words. Here's some of my favorite quotes from this book all of it is good though so read it!

"And yet the chemicals in my brain that make me feel beauty when I look up at the stars, when I watch the sunset, indicate I must be here for a reason. I thin I would sum it up this way: life is not a story about me, but it is being told to me, and I can be glad of that."

"I think we are supposed to sleep in meadows and watch stars dart across space and time. I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life."

"....find some people who aren't like me and learn to love them, and do something even harder, let them love me, receive the love of somebody who doesn't share my faith system, who doesn't agree with me about everything, and I will sleep beneath the stars and whisper thank you to the Creator of the universe, as a way of reacquainting myself with an old friend, a friend who says you don't have to be smart or good-looking you just have to cling to Him, love Him, need Him, listen to His story." 

So in this age where we think that we need to be constantly going, achieving, getting things, take the time to stop. Take a breath. Listen. Enjoy what a beautiful world the Lord has created. We are all part of a bigger story. Think grandly. Love grandly. Appreciate what a gift this life is and be content with what you have now because we have everything need. God is faithful, He is good, and He provides.

Have a wonderful week!!

Patience

Have you ever heard the expression patience is a virtue? Well, I feel as though lately I'm about to have a lot of virtue.

In pretty much all aspects of my life, I'm having to take a step back and have some patience. Remind myself that that things aren't necessarily going to happen at my pace or if at all. And that's easy to say and harder to do. It gets frustrating and it makes me crazy but I know that because of this waiting I am going to appreciate it so much more.

Luckily some quotes have come my way lately that help and so I thought I would share them with you.

"Wait on the Lord" is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come. 

-- J.I. Packer, Knowing God

"Now is your time. Become, believe, try. Walk closely with people you love and with other people who believe that God is very good and life is a grand adventure. Don't spend time with people who make you feel like less than you are. Don't get stuck in the past and don't try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven't yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life's path."

So if you're playing the waiting game, welcome to the club. It's not a very fun one. But here's to having patience even when you're feeling antsy. And knowing that you are supposed to be exactly where you are today and growing from it. (At least that's what I'm thinking) 

Speaking Truth

Yet again, it's been a while since I posted. I'm not going to pretend I've been super busy. I've been super uninspired.

And I've come to the realization, that's ok. It seems simple but in a period where I feel like I'm in a self proclaimed funk, it's necessary to remind myself of just that.

 The past year and a half I experienced a tremendous amount of growth in myself. I figured out the type of person I wanted to be. I daily felt inspired with different thoughts or ideas. I challenged myself but also trusted myself. I questioned some things and accepted others. And during this time I felt empowered, strong, ready to conquer the world or at least my world.

So here I am feeling like I'm at a plateau. Feeling like every setback is much bigger than it is. Feeling exhausted and feeling meh. Whatever emotion that is. Like I said, that's ok. Just like our bodies take a break from growing, I can take a break from growing emotionally. Sometimes it's necessary. It's ok if I don't feel like taking on the world today or if I'm uninspired. For now. I have no doubt that my inspiration will return and I will soon feel like changing the world again.

 But for now, people have unknowingly helped me find peace but speaking truth in my life. Whether it is my mom who is amazing about speaking truth in a kind, loving, but practical way, my bible study unknowingly sending out the perfect scripture in an email, or catching up with friends who can empathize while encourage, all of these speak truth in my life in their own unique and special way.

So here's to being content. A constant struggle but worth the fight.

"Life is more than clothes and cars and a new flavor of toothpaste. It is community and creation and beauty and humanity...There is a serenity in life, after all, and once a withdrawal is felt at having left the lies behind, a soul begins to feel at home in its own skin."
-Donald Miller Through Painted Deserts

Be the Good.

So I promised that my next post was going to be an uplifting one. And as promised, I've got a story for you.

I was at the post office today and there was a long line for the self service kiosk. There was an elderly woman trying to buy stamps at the machine. She was obviously struggling with how to work it. About five minutes pass. A guy about my age maybe a little older approaches her and in the most polite and respectful way, asks her if she would like any help. She replied that she suffered a stroke so she has lost some short term memory. The guy walked her through the entire process showing how it worked the whole time encouraging her and explaining what was going on. When she was finished, she told him was grateful she was and told him that it was good people like him that kept the world going. She then turned around and apologized to the rest of the line. Instead of the line being annoyed for having to wait, people smiled and genuinely encouraged her.

The whole scene just warmed my heart. Lately there has been a lot of doom and gloom on the news. Maybe even more than usual if that's possible. A lot of disasters, death, murder,etc. With all of that it is easy to assume that the world and the people in it are just getting worse and worse.


Bottom line-There are still amazingly kind and good people on this planet. In fact, our generation is getting the reputation for being one of the most altruistic. The scene at the post office was just a wonderful reminder of all the good in the world. Big and small.

So let's live up to our reputation. Let's start spreading more kindness, generosity, and love instead of complaining about all the bad.